Nzira yekusimbisa ukama hupi pakati pemwana nababa vokurera?

Amai vangu vakaroorana. Vanhu vashomanana vanofunga izvo zviri shure kwemashoko aya. Hupenyu hupenyu hwakavanza: mukadzi iyeye, vabereki vake, shamwari, murume mutsva, asi zvinonyanya kukosha - mwana kubva muwanano akaputsika. Vana vane vabereki vakarambana, marwadzo, vanotongerwa kuparadzana nababa vavo voga uye kuti vashandise kune munhu akasiyana zvakasiyana, kana zvichida kwete kusuruvara - "maziso" uye "kuparadzwa"? Izvo chete mumutauro weRussia vatevedzeri vanababa vokurera uye vanaamai vokurera - Koshchei vasingafi uye varoyi, muhupenyu, zvinhu zvose zvakasiyana. Nzira yekusimbisa ukama hupi pakati pemwana nababa vokurera uye chii chavanofanira kuita kuitira kuti vawirirane?

His and others '

Mwana anoongorora mune imwe yezvikoro zveMoscow akaratidza kuti vazhinji vanogara nababa vavo vokurera vanotaura nezvevari nani kupfuura avo vane zvizere nemhuri. Uye makumi maviri kubva muzana evana vakaratidza chido chokuti vanaamai vavo havazokwevera pamwe nekurambana uye vanozviwana ivo "mumwe munhu", nokuti vakange vaneta nekugara vachikakavara nemisodzi. Uye zvakadaro inopfuura chiyero chevana vasina kugutsikana vanoda kudzorera zvinhu zvose zvakare, vanogara nababa vavo uye vasinganzwi kubva kuvabereki vavo shoko rokuti "kurambana." Zvinonakidza kuti avo vakagamuchira baba vatsva vasati vasvika makore matatu, vanonyatsofunga kuti ivo vanozvarwa, kunyange kana vachitaurirana nababa chaivo venyama. Vana ava vangave vakaremera, nokuti "kuchinja kwevarindi" kwakaitika panguva yakadaro apo chiyeuchidzo chiri kuchengetedza zvinodiwa nevana uye kubvisa zvose zvisina kunaka, kana zvakadaro. Zvimwe chete, vakakanganwa vana vavo, murume akaroorwa naamai vavo, kune avo vari vaviri mucheche uye achiri kuyaruka, uye kana iwe uine rombo, uye wechiduku. Vana vakwegura, hongu, vachayeuka mararamiro ezvemhuri, uye zvinongowanikwa kune vakuru chete kuti zvinorwadza sei kwavari zvichava kuchinja kubva pane papa kuenda kune imwe. Iri boka revana kubva pamatatu kusvika kune manomwe ndiro risina kudzivirirwa uye, maererano nenyanzvi, ivo vanotambura zvikuru.

Baba vanopesana

Nyanzvi dzezvepfungwa dzinomiririra kuti kusvika mumhuri yemumwe mutezo - nokuti mwana anogara achishungurudzika. Baba vakwegura nebaba vatsva vanongorangana chete nezvepabonde (sekutonga). Kazhinji amai vari kutsvaga murume mutsva muboka rekare: munhu akasiyana zvachose anowanikwa mumhuri, kunyatsopesana neicho chiripo. Uyezve, amai vangu vanogona kuchinja zvakanyanya: aimboenda nechepakati pemwana pane zvose zvidzidzo zvekudzidzira. Kana akazotora murume wake, vangangodaro vasina kurambana (zvikamu zvizhinji zvekurambana zvinoitika mushure mokuberekwa kwecheche nekuda kwekuona kwakasiyana pakurera kwake). Iye zvino amai vari kumativi omurume mutsva. Kunyange kana asingatauri nenzwi guru, anofunga chimwe chinhu chakadai: "Akanditora nemwana asinganzwisisiki, zvakaoma kwaari, haafaniri kushandiswa kwete chete kumwana uyu, asiwo kuti anditungamirire ini nevabereki vangu kuti haasi iye akaipisisa kupfuura murume wake wekare. Uye haazogumbusisi munhu asiri mwana. " Uye amai vangu vanobvuma rutivi rwomumwe wavo, uye vanowanzosavimbika kumwana asina mhosva, haana kubatanidzwa mukukandwa kwepapa itsva, uye haana kubvumirana nekugara kwebabamunini vomumwe munhu mumba. Nyanzvi dzepfungwa dzinotaura kuti vana vakadaro kazhinji "vanoenda mukati mavo", vanotanga matambudziko ekuzvibata, izvo zvinogona kugadziriswa chete neyanyanzvi. Uye izvi zvinonzwisisika: vanobuda mumoto uye mumoto, kubva pamakakatanwa asingagumi pakati peMama naBaba kune "kutengesa" kwaamai namaikuru vangu, avo vanofanira kuchengetwa. Asi, nerufaro, chiyero chehukama hwakaoma kudaro ne "papa mutsva" chiduku uye inofanirwa kugoverana ne "mhuri dzinotambura", uko uwandu huri hwehutsika uye hupfumi hwakanyanya hunosimbisa kunakidza kwemamiriro acho ezvinhu. Kakawanda sekuru naambuya vanouya kuzonunura, vanotora muzukuru wavo kwechinguva ndokupa amai vake kuti vagadzikane nekubata noupenyu hwake. Icho hachisi chaicho chechikoro chakarurama, asi chakanaka chakanaka.

Uye hondo yekusingaperi

Vana vakwegura, avo vanoona zviitiko zvemhuri zvakataurwa pamusoro apa, vanogona kuita zvakanyanya. Uye izvi zvinokonzera kumwe kutyisidzira kumudzimai wevakadzi vanoramba vachidzokororwa. Kunyanya kana mwana asiri akaipa maererano nababa vake uye haadi kuchinja kupi zvako. Nyanzvi dzinotaura kuti nekuda kwekurambwa kwemurume wemudzimai mutsva, mumatambudziko makumi maviri kubva pamakumi matatu uyu murume haazojaira mhuri itsva uye anoisiya mumwaka wekutanga wekugara pamwe chete. "Hondo" ine mwana wemakore 9-10 mumagariro akawanda inoguma mukukunda kwakakwana kwomwana. Anokwanisa chaizvo kutsiva kuMama "kutengesa." Iyi ndiyo nzira yekuti vamwe vevana vakabvunzurudzwa vanoziva basa ravo mukuedza kuzvitsaura kubva kune avo vaimbowanzoona pamba manheru uye avo vakashandisa mazororo avo. Kunyangwe dai paive nekukakavadzana muimba, uye kunyange kana baba vomunharaunda vachikuvadza zvisina kunaka, vana vari parutivi rwake apo vanonzwisisa kuti mai vake vachiparadzana naye. Maiwe, kukunda kwevana ava kwakanyanya kupindura hutano hwavo. Chero pose apo nzvimbo dzevabereki dzinoshandurwa, endocrine inotanga kupandukira vana, kazhinji kuzadzwa kwakanyanya kunowanikwa, kana mwana, pane zvinopesana, anokura zvakanyanya. Vana vanotanga kurwara, zvirwere zvemuviri zvichishandura sezvavanenge vachangobva kuchinja hukama hwehupenyu hwavo hwekugara. Vanachiremba vanogona kutaura kwenguva refu pamusoro pezvinetso zvehutano zvevana mumhuri dzakadaro "dzisingabatsiri". Asi ungava sei chinhu? Munhu wose ane kodzero yekuita zvikanganiso, uye imba dzisina kururama inhau yehupenyu hwezuva nezuva. Mubvunzo ndewokuti ungadzivirira sei mwana kubva kune zvinetso zvevanhu vakuru.

Chii chingaita kuna amai vangu

Kana mwana wacho asina makore anopfuura matatu, edza kuita "kushandiswa kwebaba" zvishoma kudarika. Kudzidzira mwana kumunhu mutsva wemhuri zvishoma nezvishoma, pasina kuparadzanisa zvakasimba kubva kuna baba vake. Vana vakakura vanofanira kutsanangura chimwe chinhu, asi musaedza kutsanangurira mufungidzi wemakore mashanu kuti "hupenyu hwakaoma, uye munhu wose anoda mufaro." Zviri nyore kutaura kuti "Baba vakasiyiwa" kana uya wekare akarova kune imwe imba. Muchiitiko ichi, kutarisa kusinganzwisisiki kweshamwari yaamai vatsva pakutanga kunotaridzirwa sechimiro cheshamwari uye hapana chimwezve, uye huketani hucharamba huchirwadza hunovaka: papa anouya uye ndinoenda kwaari, uye kumba kumba kweshamwari yaamai vangu vanogara nesu, ari kuseka, uye ane mutsa . Asi "vana" vakuru vanogona uye vanofanira kufanangurira zvinhu zvose munzira yevanhu vakuru, vasingaedzi kubiridzira uye kunyengera. Vachaenda kuzokurukura zvakanyanya nokukurumidza kana vakaona kuti vakarasika kune vakakwana uye havasarudze kuguma kwemhuri kwavari. Uye pano zvakakosha kuti urege kuwira nekuda kwekutaurirana kwevatungamiri, nekuda kwekuchema nekutuka. Mwana wako akwegura ane kodzero yekuziva kuti nei achibvisa kona yakanyatsonaka yehucheche hwake, sei achifanira kugovera mamita maduku eimba yeimba nemumwe munhu asiri asinganzwisisiki kwaari. Zvinonzwisisika, havasi vana vose vanoita zvakanyanyisa kuti vachinje mumhuri, asi vanenge vana vose vanozviona. Nenzira iyo, mumhuri iyo amai vaigara vachida kutaurirana nemwana wavo vachienzanisa netsoka uye vakanga vasina usimbe kuti vatsanangure zvisinganzwisisiki, kugamuchirwa kwepapa mutsva zviri nyore zvikuru kupfuura apo mwana asina kubvumirwa kupinda munharaunda yevanhu vakuru uye nekuchengeteka kudzivirirwa kubva pamatambudziko asina mwana.

Baba vatsva vanofanira kuitei?

Zvakawanda zvinotaurwa pamusoro pekutambudzwa kwaamai vangu, avo vaudza mwana wavo kuti mumwe munhu achakurumidza kugara mumba, asi vashomanana vanofunga nezvekunzwa kwemunhu mukuru ari kuedza basa repapa mutsva. Iye, zvakare, ane nguva yakaoma! Haana kungopinda mumba chete nemitemo yakatangwa uye nheyo, iye achiri kutaridzika kuti anogona kunzi "wake." Uye sei ungaita izvi? Kutanga, iwe unoda kunyatsonzwisisa kuti anotora semudzimai wake kwete mudzimai chete, asi mukadzi ane mwana. Uye kana pane kunyanya kusatenda kuti achada mwana uyu, unofanira kumira uye kufungisisa. Chechipiri, ita zvinyararire. Manzwiro echokwadi anoonekwa kune ziso rakashama. Kana mwana akaziva kuti munhu uyu anonyatsoda amai vake, haazogoni kurwisa hukama hwevanhu vakuru. Asi kana zvose zvakafanana kukakavadzana pakati pebaba vatsva nemwana zvakasimuka? Zvakare, iwe unofanirwa kuzvibata nekuremekedza: mwana haabati, haaiti kukwira mumweya uye haafaniri kutungamirirwa kunorwa kwake kunopesana. Tora ruremekedzo. Taurirai, taurai zvakanaka, pindura mibvunzo nenzira yakasununguka uye inyanzvi yekushandura nyaya. Vakuru vanoziva kuita izvi, uye mwana "anokuvadza" ari mwana uye zvinogona kuitika zvakare kuti adzore zvakare. Purogiramu yakadaro inonzi chirongwa chekurwisana. Nokukurumidza kana kuti gare gare mwana achaneta nekurwisa hondo inotonhora. Ikozvino zvinokwanisika kushandura mutsetse wekuita uye unobtrusively kuedza kuenda kune hukama hwehukama, zvadzidza panguva yekutaurirana, zvaanoda uye zvaanoda. Nevamwe vana, iwe unogona kushanduka pakarepo kune chinyorwa chine ushamwari uye kupedza nguva yakawanda kupfuura kupfuura amai vavo, iwe unongoda kunzwisisa kana ari kumiririra kana kwete. Vana, kusanganisira avo varikukuvadza, vane pfungwa dzakajeka uye vanonzwisisika kupfuura vanhu vakuru, saka zvakaoma kuwana mutauro wakafanana navo, ivo vasati vadzidza vakuru vakuru vezvematongerwo enyika uye vasingatauri-kutaura. Asi izvi ndizvo zvinoshamisa kune avo vanozogara navo pamwe nechemberi, kuti vave, kana kwete kutsiva kwababa vavo, saka kungofanana neshamwari yakanaka uye mutungamiri. Iwe unoda kuva nemoyo murefu uye unonzwisisa kuti imba iyo "mwana akagadzirirwa" akamirira iwe haisi nyore uye kumirira zvishamiso hazvina maturo. Vanofanira kuzvisika ivo pachavo.