"Rega gnawing iyo collar. Vanhu vari kutotarisa. Iwe unoda kuti munhu wese akuseke iwe here kana kuzviita nechinangwa kuti anditore godo? "- kamwechete, amai vevashanu vane makore vaSlava vanoranga. "Handidi," anodedera musoro wake, "uye kwete zvakananga, handigomubati zvachose, iye pachake anowira mumuromo mangu." Kusuruvara kwemai kunowedzera, asi ... mwanakomana wacho akarurama. Zvose zvinoitika chaizvo kunze kwekuda kwake. Uyu ndiwo musiyano mukuru pakati pekunyengera uye tsika yakaipa. Kana mwana asingabvisi zvidhori zvake, kana zvakadaro, anoda kuti zvinhu zvose zvinogara zvakachengetwa mumabhosi, iyo tsika (apo munhu anogona kuita zvakasiyana, asi anosarudza nenzira iyo). Uye kana akacheka zvipikiri zvake, achivhuvhuta vhudzi rake, zvigunwe kana kugogodza mazino ake, anonamatira ganda pamaoko ake kana netsoka, anochera muromo wake, uye anozviita nguva dzakawanda - ichi chinokanganisa. Iye anonyatsotaura nezvemashoko uye kunyange iye pachake anonzwisisa kuti hazvidikanwi kuita kudaro, asi achiri kuita uye haatongedzi nguva yaanotanga. Zviito zvekucherechedza (compulsions) zvinogona kuva zvakasiyana zvikuru. Lena ane makore mashanu akanga asingakwanisi kurwisa kana akaona muti uri pedyo: aizotora chidimbu chepapepa, akachiisa muhomwe yake uye, asina kutora maoko ake, aizobvarura muzvikamu zviduku-duku. Zvidziviriro, zvitendero kuti mbeu dzinofanira kudiwa nekudzivirirwa, hadzina kushanda. Ipapo mbuya vakasarudza kuchinja maitiro ake uye, vachionazve zvakare michero yakawanda inoramba iripo, vakadanidzira nekutya: "Iwe-wakabvarura maruva aya here? Asi ine uturu, uye zvino unogona kurwara! Miti yakawanda ine ngozi kune utano! ". Nzira yacho yakashanda - Lena akanga achitya uye akachema. Akarega kutora maruva, asi akatanga kutora mhino yake. Chinhu chakakosha chekuvhara kwekutya kunotyisa tics. Idzo motokari - inobatanidza nekupindira kusingabatsiri kwemitsipa yechiso, mitezo (kubhenekera, kunyorera matama, kubvongodza, shrugging) uye inzwi (kukwezva, kunyorera, kunyorera). Tiki inonyangarika inopera, kana mwana wacho ari kuita chimwe chinhu chinonakidza, chinonakidza, uye anoenderera mberi apo mwana anobva aora mwoyo kana panguva yezviitiko zvisingafadzi. Idzi idzi dzakasiyana nekushungurudzika kwemaviri mushure mezvirwere zvehutano.
Zvose zvakatanga sei?
Kazhinji vabereki havagoni kupindura mubvunzo uyu. Hapana kunyatsoona kushungurudzika. Pakanga pane matambudziko emhuri - zvakare gore rose rakapfuura. Asi zviitiko zvekare uye zvinoratidzika zvakararama zviitiko zvinogona kuva chikonzero chekutadza. Vana kazhinji havana mukana wekutarisana nekudzvinyirira, vanhu vakuru vanofunga kuti: "Chishoma chiduku hachina kunzwisisa chero chinhu. Uye hauna hanya nekudzorera rugare rwepfungwa. "Takanga tine kurambana kwakaoma zvikuru. Akatangira kupandukira, kukakavadzana, kubva kumba uye kunyange kurwisana. Uye isu takasarudza: regai mwanasikana agare naambuya vake kusvikira tazviona. Akaenda kwemwedzi mitanhatu. Kubva ipapo, ndinonzwa kuti pane chimwe chinhu mumutsipa wake chakavharika, anowanzoita ruzha rwakave ruchiita. Tsvakurudzo yakaratidza kuti zvinhu zvose zvakarongeka, asi izvi zvinonzwika zvinopfuurira. " Vana vane hanya zvikuru nemanzwiro evanhu vakuru uye kune zvinoitika mumhuri. Kunyange kana vabereki vasina kukakavara zvachose ("Endai, ipapo tichazotaura"), vana vachiri kunzwa kuti chimwe chinhu chakaipa. Kuzvidya mwoyo kwemudiki muduku munyaya iyi hakugoneki. Nokuda kwake, nyika inowira apo inosangana nekuchinja kusina kunaka. Zvechokwadi, kana panguva ino kumutora mumaoko ake, kunyaradza, kutaura uye kugutsikana kuti zvinhu zvose zvichave zvakanaka, saka kunetseka hakuzove kwakaoma kutsungirira. Asi panguva ino vanhu vakuru havakwanisi kusvika kuvana. Uye ipapo mwana angave ane tic-sechido chisingadi kutora pfungwa uye anoda kutaura. Vanogona kupfuura zvakanaka nokukurumidza kana mamiriro acho ezvinhu ezvakanaka, asi vanogona kugara kwemakore mazhinji. "Tanga" kushungurudza hakugone kuitika mumhuri chete. Mudzidzisi wegereji, akarembera, chirwere chinotyisa, mamiriro ezvinhu akakonzera kutya mumugwagwa, panguva yekuungana kukuru kwevanhu pamabasa ekuvaraidza. "Ndichiri mwana, ndakanga ndakanamatira muhovhiti. Ndinoyeuka, ndakatya zvikuru-kunyanya sezvo amai vangu vasina kubvumira mumwe kupinda mufambisi. Kwekanguva akamira asina simba, ndokubva atanga kuisa kumanikidziro kune dzose mabhatani, zvino-kuruka. Panguva ino chaiyo iyo refu yakaenda. Uye kwenguva yakareba, kana chimwe chinhu chakanga chichiita kuti nditye mumamiriro ezvinhu akaoma, ndakanyarara ndichikwira kana ndakamira pamucheto, kunyange kuchikoro. Ndaiziva kuti yakanga iri benzi, asi ini ndakanga ndisingakwanise kuyambuka. Kusvikira ndasvetuka - Handinganyarari. " Kukanganisa kwakadaro - nenzira yemitambo - inowanzoitika gare gare, kubva munenge makore matanhatu. Kubva pamitikiti ivo vanozivikanwa ne "kukura" kukuru, kururamiswa. Asi zvose zvine chimwe chikonzero-mukati mekushungurudzika, kukanganisa.
Zvimwe zvinetso
Sezvo mutemo, dambudziko harisi rega kune zviito zvakashata. Vabereki vanocherechedza zvimwe zviratidzo zvisingadiwi. Somuenzaniso, zvinetso nehope. Mwana wacho haagoni kurara kwemazuva mazhinji, anomuka pakati peusiku, anogona kumuka mangwanani-kare, uye zuva rose anonzwa asingasviki. Uye pamwe naye nemhuri yose - shure kwezvose, kurota kwecheche kunova dambudziko rose. Imwe dambudziko kune vana vane kukanganisa ndiko kushandura mafungiro. Whims pasina chikonzero, kuvhiringidzika, kuchema muvana vakadaro kakawanda uye kunokwezvawo vabereki nevadzidzisi. Mukuwedzera, kutya uye kazhinji kutya. Mwana wacho anonyanya kunetseka nenyika yose, sekunge akamirira vakaipa, haana hanya nechalance. Kunze kwevana, vana vane urombo vanogona kutarisa kunge vane utano hwakanaka, asi vanowanzoita chizivo, vasingatenderi kutakura, zvinhu, vaneta kubva kumabasa maviri anochengetedza uye kuratidzwa kwakachena. Kazhinji ivo vanonzwisisika uye vanofungidzira zvakajeka.
Risk boka
Vana vazhinji vanogara mumamiriro ezvinhu akaenzana. Munhu wose anonzwa ruzivo rumwe chete, munhu wose anongoraramira kwete nguva dzakanaka muupenyu hwevabereki vavo. Asi kushushikana hazviiti vose vanosimuka. Uyezve, kunyange mushure mekunge vaine dambudziko rakafanana, vari mune imwe mamiriro ezvinhu anotyisa, vana vachaita nenzira inoshamisa: mumwe achakanganwa mumwedzi, uye kune imwe ichange iine nguva inogara ichikonzera kuzvidya mwoyo uye zviito zvekuzvibata. Chii chinoita izvi? Chokutanga, zviitiko zvehutano uye unhu. Mwana ane utsi husina simba hwemagetsi ane chirwere chepakati chekunzwa-somuenzaniso, zvinowanzobatwa nehuzha, chiedza chakajeka, inzwi guru. Vana vakadaro vanoenderera mberi kuva ivo vanotambura. Chechipiri, hutano hunokosha zvikuru. Kakawanda nguva dzose, mubereki mumwechete anogona kuyeuka kuti iye pachake akawana chimwe chinhu chakadaro muhuduku, aifungidzirwa nekutadza. Isu, mune imwe nzira kana imwe, tinowana nhaka yehutano hwevabereki hwevabereki. Asi vabereki vanogona kutora kutya kwavo vana vasingazivi. Semuenzaniso, amai, vari kushungurudzika munzvimbo dzakapoteredza, vasingazivi zvakasimudza ruoko rwomwana paanopinda mufambisi. Anobata ruoko rumwe nechimwe (uyewo asingazivi), anotarisa pamasuo emakamuri kusvikira asvinuka. Haafaniri kuti ataure kuti anotya-chero ipi zvayo iyo yakaoma ichakurumidza kunzwisisa izvi pasina mazwi. Chechitatu chekuita kwekutsvaga kwekunyengera ndiko kunhu hwekurera uye, kazhinji, mamiriro emhuri. Uye vari muboka risina ngozi, vose avo vasina hanya (hypoopeak), uye avo avo vabereki vasingatauri mukana wokufema vakasununguka. Iko kunotonhorera kwemhuri, uko kunoratidzika kunge kunofungisisa, asi kuchiri kutadza kunzwa kwakasununguka kunzwa, kune ngozi zvakare. "Hungu, hatisimudzi manzwi edu pamusoro pacho, chii chinonetsa," vabereki vati, vasingazivi kuti ichi ndicho chinetso chikuru. Kuti tinzwe tichidiwa, tinoda kuona kufarira kwekurumidza. Kunyatsoteerera kunokonzera, kunokonzera kukura kwekumanikidzwa, kusava nerudo. Uye, pakupedzisira, icho chekupedzisira (mukuronga, asi kwete mukukosha) zviitiko zvisingaiti. Kunyange mwana akasimba nemhando yehutachiona hunogona kukuvadzwa nemhaka yekunyanya kunetseka.
Rubatsiro
Kazhinji vabereki ivo pachavo vanoita zvinokonzerwa zvakananga kunoonekwa sechinetso uye vanorwisana nacho. Uye ichi chikanganiso chikuru. Zvakakosha kufungisisa nezvemamiriro ezvinhu emwana pamwe chete, kusabvisa kukanganisa, kuisa upenyu hwake pasi. Kunyange zvazvo basa iri rinotanga nekushanyira kune chirwere chemaurologist: dzimwe nguva zviito zvinokanganisa zvinogona kuva chiratidzo chechirwere, chinogona kugadziriswa chete nechiremba. Kutsiva kwako, kusagadzikana kuchaita kuti kuwedzere dambudziko. "Hungu, vangani vanogona! Hondo dzokutarisa haisi! "- gadzika kana iwe uchida kutaura chimwe chinhu chakadaro, uye kana iwe unonzwa chaizvo kuti wakatsamwa, siya muimba uye usatarise (usateerera). Kana mwana panguva yakadai kuti iye pachake anogona kubata zvakanyanya maitiro ake, saka usashandise (kunyadzisa, kugutsikana kuti "vanhu vari kutarisa"). Pane zvinopesana - kugutsikana kuti hapana chakaipa mune izvi, kuti vanhu vane matambudziko akasiyana. Izvi hazvizowedzera huratidziro rwezviito zvakashata, asi, pane zvinopesana, zvinoderedza. Pashure pezvose, pane dzimwe nguva kudimbura (kunyanya zviputi), kutya kutarisira ("Ndingadai ndisina kutanga kuita izvi mukerekeji, mumugwagwa") zvinokanganisa uye zvinokonzera mutsva mutsva we tic. Chikwata chakaipa chinoumbwa. Chimwe chinonyanya kukosha chokuporesa ndiko kukurukurirana nemwana. Ngwarira kwaari nenzira ipi zvayo: kutamba mitambo pamwe chete, kusanganisira mabasa epamba, kukoka, kuverenga, kutamba panze mukutora-gara, gara uchitarisana kune umwe kana iwe uchiona TV. Zviri nyore, asi kazhinji kacho chirwere chepfungwa chinonyanya kushanda.
Ramba uchifunga kuti vakomana vari kunyanya kunetseka uye vanowanzotambudzika (zvinenge katatu) kupfuura vasikana, kunyange zvazvo zvingaita sekuti zvinhu zvose zvakasiyana. Vasikana chete vanowanzotaurira kuzvidya mwoyo kwavo, kutya, kuchema kakawanda, uye vakomana vari kuvanzika kubva paudiki. Saka vakomana vanoda zvose izvi "unyoro" kwete zvishoma-kuvabvumira kugumisa tic ne simba ("Iwe uri murume!") Kunyange zvakadaro hazvizoshandi. Zvinobatsira uye mabasa anokosha. Semuenzaniso, kubatana pamwe chete nevabereki, pamwe nevamwe vana vachabatsira kukura kwehutano hwekukurukurirana, kuderedza kutya mukukurukurirana. Kana kuumbwa kwenhau dzepano, apo mwana anoenderera mberi nhau yakatanga nemwi, achitaura pfungwa dzake mairi. Kana nyaya yacho ichinyanya kusuruvara, iwe unomuudza iwe shanduro yako, apo, chokwadi, zvose zvakaguma zvakanaka. Zvakanaka zvinobatsira zvemitambo uye zvekushandisa motokari chero ipi zvayo. Kunyange kana iwe ukangotamba zvitsvuku kana kuronga hondo nemiseve, izvi zvine maitiro akanaka pamamiriro ehupenyu-zvinobatsira kubvisa kukanganiswa, kunowedzera kuzvivimba. "Zvechokwadi" mitambo - kushambira, mitambo, kubhekwa kwechikwereti nezvimwewo zvakadaro - zvinonzwisiswa nevana nenzira dzakasiyana-siyana (zvinoenderana nemudzidzisi uye pamwero wezvitoro), saka zviri nyore kuti munhu asarudze. Uye, chokwadi, chinhu chikuru ndechemamiriro emhuri. Mufaro mukuru, mafungiro akanaka, kutsigirwa uye kushamwaridzana kwevanhu kunobatana mukati meimba, kunyanya kuti mwana achava nehutano uye akagadzikana mupfungwa.