Njodzi ine mugumo unofadza
Mutsva yaWilliam Styroon "Sophie's Choice" heroine, uyo akawira mumusasa wevasungwa, Gestapo akaita chisarudzo muupenyu muupenyu hunooma: mumwe wevana vake vaviri-mwanakomana kana mwanasikana-achaurayiwa pakarepo, uye ndiani achaponeswa nehupenyu. Achipindura mubvunzo uyu, akazvipa mhosva kumakore ekutambura uye, kunyange zvazvo akapukunyuka kubva mumusasa wevasungwa, akazviuraya, asingakwanisi kutakura manzwiro ekutadza.
Unofunga kuti izvi zvisati zvaitika uye chisarudzo muhupenyu hwemamiriro ezvinhu akaoma, mukadzi angangosungwa muhondo here? Aiwa, kwete. Mushure mokunge tsunami muThailand muna 2004, nyika yose yakapoteredza nyaya yeAustralian Gillian Searle. Akanga agere pamahombekombe nevanakomana vake: gore nehafu hake Blake uye Lachi ane makore mashanu, apo yekutanga yevheji yakauya. Gillian akabata vana - uye akaziva kuti akanga achitakurwa neavo vari kugungwa.
Kuti uzvidzivirire iwe , waifanira kubata padanda remichindwe, zvinoreva kuti mumwe wevana anofanira kusunungurwa. "Ndakasarudza zvingava zviri nani kudai raiva rekare," akaudza vatori venhau gare gare. Asi Lachi haana kukwanisa kushambira, kutya mvura ndokukumbira mai vake kuti vamuponese. Gillian akakumbira mukadzi kuti abate mukomana ari pedyo naye. Zvose zvakaitika mumasekondi, uye zvino akarega kuona mwanakomana wake. Iyi nhau, kusiyana neyano, ine kuguma kunofadza. MuAustralia akachengetedza mwana, uye mukuru iye nemurume wake vakaona pasi maawa maviri mushure mejodzi: kunyange mukadzi uyu wokune imwe nyika akaisawo iyo, akafamba nenzira yakafanana neimbwa kuenda kuhotera ndokukwira mukamuri umo mvura yakanga yatotomhanya. Mazuva mashomanana gare gare, apo Searles akatiza kumba, mukomana uyu achiri kuchema nekuramba achibata ruoko rwaamai vake.
Gilian akaita sei izvi? Nemhaka yei akaregera kuenda kune mwana wekutanga? Haana kuziva here kushambira, saiye muduku? Tichifunga kuti chisarudzo chaifanira kuitwa pakarepo, chaiva chisarudzo chakaoma muupenyu, zvichibva pamanzwiro ake chaiwo uye mafungiro asingazivikanwi, pasina kufunga nezvemaonero evamwe kana mazano edzidziso. Mumamiriro ezvinhu akadaro, kana, iwe, iwe unoda kusarudza ani kuti udziponese kubva pamoto: mudzimai kana mwana, munhu anoponesa mumwe munhu anokosha kwaari nokuda kwezvikonzero zvakanaka. Vanoponesa avo vavanoda zvakanyanya, kana uyo wavanofunga kuti ane mhosva, kana uyo "anorema", anoti, mwana akapedzisira uye anotambudzika. Zvikonzero zvinogona kunge zvakasiyana.
Chinhu chinonyanya kukosha ndechekuti mukadzi uyu akaita sarudzo muhupenyu panzvimbo yakaoma, uye haana kuisiya, zvisinei kuti munhu wose angadai akafa. Iye amai vakanaka, nokuti intuitively akanzwa kuti ndeipi yevana vane mikana yakawanda. Uye akapiwa mubayiro nokuda kwesimba rake naMwari kana kuti nguva.
Kufunga nezvemawere
Zvisarudzo zviri kuuya mune hupenyu zvakaoma zvikuru mumamiriro ezvinhu akaipisisa - muedzo unowanzosvika kune mujenya wevanhu vashomanana chete. Asi mumwe nomumwe wedu aifanira kusarudza basa, varume, shamwari, ramangwana. Sei sarudzo yakanyanya kuoma?
Nokuti tinofanira kusiya mapiro ose kunze kweumwe. Tinozviona kare kare sekuparadzanisa, kurasikirwa kwechinhu chakakosha. Mumwe murwere wepfungwa yepfungwa, musikana wechidiki, aisagona kutora mhombera kwenguva yakareba, akaedza kakawanda pakuisa mukana, uye pakupedzisira, vanachiremba vakati zvose zvaive zvakarongeka. Asi humwe hutsika hwemhando iyi ndeyokuti mazai akawanda anobudiswa kamwechete. Zvaive zvakakosha kuita sarudzo kuti ndezvipi kuti uende uye kuti ndezvipi zvaunofanira kubvisa. Mumwe nomumwe wevana remangwana mukana unofadza, munhu wose anogona kuva nyanzvi, akanaka, mhirizhonga yeOlympic, mwana ane unyoro uye ane rudo ... Pasi pemafungiro ekufungidzira pamusoro pekuva amai vakanaka haaigona kuita sarudzo ndokusiya mazai mana. Iye zvino ane mapatya mana, uye iwe unogona kufungidzira kuti mutoro unotyisa izvi ndei. Mukadzi wacho akandikumbira kwandiri nokuti kuzvidya mwoyo kwevana hakubvumiri kuti atungamirire hupenyu hupenyu. Anovanza zvinhu zvose zvakakosha, akaputira imba ne-alarm, usiku hunenge husina kurara uye haigoni kugara oga nevana-chete mumusana pemurume wake. Ichokwadi, pfungwa dzake dzisinganzwisisiki pamusoro pengozi kana kurwiswa kwemakororo ndeye chikonzero chekuti iye akashandura ruvengo rwake rwevana mumusingazivi. Ichokwadi, haazive nezvazvo. Amai vari kunze uye vane tsitsi, vakafananidzira fungiro yekuva amai vakanaka, pfungwa yekuti mukadzi haafanana nemamwe, amai vakasiyana-siyana vasingambofi vana vavo (kunyange pazera rezai). Asi zvakadhura zvakadhura kufungidzira!
Mienzaniso yakafanana , kana munhu asingakwanisi kusarudza kubva pamikana miviri yakanaka kwazvo, nokuti ari pakunzwira tsitsi kwemaonero enhema, izhinji. Mumwe murwere wepfungwa yepfungwa kwenguva yakareba asina chokwadi kuti angaita sei: kugara nemurume wake, munhu akangwara, akachenjera, munhu akadzidziswa waaifarira nguva dzose, kana kuenda kumudiwa wake - zvakare haasi benzi, asi achiri nyore, asi nemari, kubudirira. Ndakasarudza kurambana, ndakaroorana neadikani, asi ndinoramba ndichirwadziwa. Hazvina kukwana kuita chisarudzo chekunze, icho chiito. Chinhu chikuru ndicho chisarudzo chemukati. Kana munhu akagadzirira kurarama nekurashikirwa kweimwe yemikana, pane kugadzirisa mupfungwa uye mupfungwa kwekurasikirwa, sezvinoti vanachiremba vanoti, chirongwa che "kuchema." Wakasunungurwa, unogona kurarama. Asi vazhinji havakwanisi kugamuchira kurasikirwa, hupenyu hwavo hunopinda mugehena. Mukadzi uyu haasati adzorera kurasikirwa kwake, nguva dzose anoshaya chimwe chinhu, anotambura nokuora mwoyo. Haana kuita sarudzo yomukati. Icho chichiri kuonekwa kwaari kuti angave nemudzimai anonyatsozadzisa zvose zvaanoda: vose vakangwara, uye vanofara, uye vanozvipira, uye vapfumi. Asi chaizvoizvo izvi hazviitiki.
Dzimba dzisingabatsiri
Chimwe chikonzero nei kusarudza hupenyu kwakaoma, zvinova basa rakaoma-kusada kutora mutoro. Kubva pakuonekwa kwaDhemyan Popov, mumutauro wedu chisarudzo chakaoma nekuti isu, kusiyana nemaEurope nemaAmerica, tiri tsika zvakabatana nevana, mhuri, mhuri. Isu tinofanira kufambisa uye kutsigira vana, kupa hukama hwakasimba pakati pezvizvarwa. Wadhi, kune rumwe rutivi, anopa pfungwa yekuchengeteka, pane imwe - haabvumi kukura. Vechiduku havadi uye havazivi kuti vangapindura sei nekuda kwehupenyu hwavo. Somuenzaniso, mukomana munguva pfupi yapfuura akashandisa dambudziko rakadaro: akazopedza chikoro, asi haadi huye, uye haazogadzirisa chaungaita. Ndakaedza basa rimwe, rimwe, ndakasiya uye ndakagara kumba, paamai vangu pasi pephiko. Zvinotaridzika kuti iyi ndiyo sarudzo yevashandi, asi chaizvoizvo ichisarudzo pakati pemikana miviri: kutungamirira hupenyu hwevanhu vakuru nezvose zvayo zvakakodzera uye zvinoremekedzwa kana kuti kugara mwana. Shamwari, musikana, baba vanomanikidza mukomana kuti awane, pakupedzisira, rimwe basa, akazova akazvimiririra. Musikana uyu anotyisidzira kuenda. Shamwari haisati idamukoka kumukana, nokuti haana mari. Panguva imwe chete, amai vangu vakanaka, hapana chavanotya. Uyu murume anofanira kupedzisa kupatsanurwa, izvo zvinoitika mumatanho akawanda: kutema musimboti wembilical, kusvimha misodzi, kirasi yokutanga, nguva yekuyaruka, uye ipapo mapikisi anofanira kubhururuka kubva mudendere. Kuparadzanisa kwakaoma zvikuru kana vana vakuru vachigara nevabereki vavo.
Mishonga yepamba inosanganisira amai uye murume ndeyekurwa kwemhuri kunomanikidzwa kugara munharaunda imwechete. Maererano naDhemyan Popov, mumamiriro ezvinhu apo mukadzi anowana "pakati pemoto maviri" -kutsamwa kweamai vasina kufadza mukwambo nemhosva yemukwambo uyo asingadi vamwene vake-kusarudzwa hakusi kwechokwadi. Mukadzi mukuru anofanira kukwanisa kutora mutambo pakati pehupenyu hwake hwega uye mhuri yevabereki vake. Iwe unogona kuteerera zvinopesana nehama, asi unoda kuvaudza zvakasimba kuti kunyange iwe uchivada, iwe uchabata nehupenyu hwako pachako. Izvo zvinoshandawo kune hukama hwemurume nehama dzake.
Apo munhu anotora mutoro uye anoita zvisarudzo muupenyu hwezvinetso zvakaoma pane zvose zvaanoita, zvinova nyore nyore kurarama. Pane inouya pfungwa yerusununguko. Pane mukana wekuziva, panzvimbo yekuzadzikisa zvido zvemunhu uye pfungwa. Kana munhu achiziva, anorarama hupenyu hunofadza, sarudzo itsva imwe neimwe inosuruvara kwaari, nokuti anogamuchira kurasikirwa nyore nyore.
Daffodils paTitanic
Mugumisiro wezvisarudzo zvose zvekrete muhupenyu hwakaoma zvikuru, iyo iri pamberi pedu neimwe nzira inofanirwa kutsanangurirwa nhoroondo yedu yega uye sangano re psyche. Somuenzaniso, kana chisarudzo chakaitwa chiri kukonzera kukanganisa kune mumwe munhu, vanhu vakawanda vanonzwa vane mhosva. Asi vamwe chete vanoita chisarudzo chakakosha pasi pesimba rekunzwa uku. Mumwe wandaifambidzana naye, murume akaroora, akatambura zvikuru kubva pakurambana nemudzimai wechidiki, asi haana kumbofunga nezvekurambana. Kumudzimai wake anosunga basa uye tsitsi: anorwara nechirwere cheshuga.
Muitiro wekuti munhu ave nemhosva unobatanidzwa muchimiro chepfungwa. Vabereki vanotsanangurira mwana izvo zvavanofanira kuita zvinogona kuitwa, uye izvo zvisingakwanisi kuitika, nokudaro kuumba guru-ego. Kuita zvinhu zvisina kururama, anonzwa ane mhosva. Asi muhupenyu hwehupfumi hunonyangadza hunyengeri, manzwiro ekuregerera anowedzera kusvika pamatambudziko. Uye, pane zvinopesana, kuvanhu ve psychopathic, maitiro e-super-ego uye mhosva haasipo pamutemo - inotsiviwa nekutya. Iyo psychopath ichaita chisarudzo, inotungamirirwa nokutya iye pachake, uye zvinodiwa nevamwe vanhu hazvivhiringidzi zvachose. Psychopaths dzinowanzova vana vasina pokugara kana vana vanobva mumhuri dzisingabatsiri, dzisingabatsiri.
Asi unhu hwekuchengetedza zvinhu zvinoshandiswa ne narcissistic ine pfungwa inonyadzisa. Kana tikava nemhosva patinenge tichiita chimwe chinhu chisingawirirani nemitemo yedu yechipimo, kunyara ndiko kutya kwekutarisa zvakaipa mumaziso evamwe. Kune narcissist, hazvigoni kuratidza kuti hauna simba, asingatenderi, mune chimwe chinhu. Mune zvimwe zviitiko, aizoda kupira upenyu hwake pane kuzvizvininipisa pamberi peumwe munhu. Ngatiyeukei, somuenzaniso, nhau inotyisa yeTitanic. Apo vaifambisa vechipiri nechechitatu yekirasi vakaputira ngarava, vanhu vakakurumbira muimba yekurarisa vakanga vari kunwa mambuka. Dzidzo haina kuvabvumira kuti vatore chikamu munyaya iyi yakasviba. Vakasarudza kuparara, asi kuchengetedza chiremerera.
Unhu hwehunoti hunokanganisa-hunomanikidza hunotungamirira kune pfungwa dzakawanda uye zviito, saka, hazvigone kuita chisarudzo chokupedzisira. Munhu akadaro achachinja zvisarudzo nekusingaperi kana kuramba kusarudza zvachose, nokuti zvinomutyisa. Mukusarudzo haaoni mikana, asi misungo: kuruboshwe iwe uchaenda-iwe ucharasikirwa nebhiza, pane iwe uchaenda-munondo uchaputsa ... Kana vamwe vachipa mazano kumunhu uyu, anogara achiwana mutsara: "Zvakanaka, asi ...".
Chikonzero chekusagadzikana chinogonawo kune imwe: mukutya utsinye. Kushungurudzika kuripo mumunhu wese, asi kune vamwe vanhu kuratidzwa kwayo kunorambidzwa. Kana mumhuri kushungurudzwa kwakaonekwa sechinhu chisingadikanwi uye chinotyisa, kana kana vabereki vasingabvumiri mwana kuti ataure zvavanoda uye manzwiro echokwadi, anokura asina kuchengeteka, anovimba, uye ane mwana. Kumigumisiro yakafanana kunogona kukonzera kushungurudzika kwakasimba kunoitwa muhuduku. Mumwe mukomana, paakanga achiri muduku, akarova mumwe mukomana nebwe uye aitya kwazvo kuti akanga amuuraya. Kubvira panguva iyo, pane kubvumirwa mukati mokumanikidza kwake. Haanzwi kutsamwa, haanzwisisi kuti ane hasha, haagoni kukunda kunze kwezvaanoita uye semugumisiro hupenyu humwe humwe. Basa redu ndomubatsira kuti aone kushatirwa kwake, uye ipapo dzidza kuti ungarondedzera sei.
Muenzaniso wezvinyorwa zveunhu akadaro ndiye gamba re "Autumn Marathon". Haasi mukana wokuramba munhu, kugumbura mumwe munhu, uye ndicho chikonzero iye asingagoni kusarudza pakati pevakadzi vaviri. Pane imwe nguva, apo gomo guru rakawedzerwa kumatambudziko makuru, pakarepo rinoputika: anoshevedzera kune waanoshanda naye uyo ave agere pamutsipa kwemakore mazhinji; anoramba kuisa maoko pamwe chete nemukurumbira. Muoni ane tarisiro yokuti iye ava kuda kutora matambudziko mumaoko ake, ita chisarudzo chakakosha ... Asi iyi inonyengera. Mhedziso yekufananidzira inoratidza mutambi wekutamba pasi pemvura yekuvhuvhuta: iye, sezvaanogara, anomhanya kubva kune zvinetso izvo upenyu huchikandira.