Iva mumwechete - uye iwe uchafara. Kana kwete? Esiteri Perel, nyanzvi yehukama nemakore makumi matatu ezvakaitika uye munyori webhuku rinonzi "Kuberekwa mukutapwa," rinoudza maitiro ekuita ukama hwenguva refu nemumwe wako uchifara.
Kungoti rudo rwekutanga rukawa, vaviri vacho vanotarisana nematambudziko ekutanga: kukura kusanzwisisana, pane zvinotaurwa pamwe chete uye zvinoshorwa, pane imwe nzvimbo pane kurasikirwa rudo, kufemerwa uye manzwiro evegurufusi mudumbu. Vakawanda vanodavira kuti matambudziko aya anokonzerwa nokushaikwa kwekuswedera kwevadzidzi. Zvisinei, zvakaitika kuna Esther Perel zvinomurega kuti ataure zvakasiyana. Ukama hwepedyo hwakanyanya ... zvikuru!
A story story. Kutanga
Apo patinosangana nemunhu, tinonakidzwa nefleur yechakavanzika. Uyu munhu werudzii uyu? Anofarira uye anovenga chii? Nedzipi pfungwa dzaanomuka mangwanani uye zvinomunetsa usiku? Zvishoma nezvishoma, isu uye tinowedzera kuziva munhu uye tinonzwa pfungwa yakasimba yekunyanyisa mumuviri uye mupfungwa. Asi kunyengedza ndechokuti kunyange zvazvo zvisiri ngozi asi zvakadaro: miganhu chaiyo haisati yaputswa. Nokuda kwekuti mudiwa wacho achiri "terra incognita" kwatiri - nyika isingatauriki - hatigoni kunyatsopinda munzvimbo yake yega. Ushamwari hahuna kuparadzwa nemaitiro uye nguva dzose, vanhu vanoramba vari vaviri vakazvimiririra. Uye iyo nzvimbo inovabvumira kurota, kufungidzira, kufara nemafungiro avo nekuziva ecstasy.
Asi nguva inopera, uye imwe neimwe inopinda zvishoma nezvishoma munyika yakavanzika yeimwe. Manzwiro ekumhanya achiri kukwira, asi iwe unotya. Iwe haudi kuti ipedze. Uye zvino kutsvaga nzira dzekuita kuti rudo ruwedzere kutarisirwa, hwakagadzikana, runotendeseka runotanga. Iwe unoshandura mhiko dzako dzekutanga nezvipikirwa, kutenga zvishoma kushivirira pazvinodhura rusununguko rwomunhu oga. Kwete, kwete vose. Unopa zvishoma zvekusununguka kwako pachako. Asi kupfuura kwemakore inoda zvakanyanya. Vashandi vanosvika pakuziva mumwe nomumwe zviri nani uye zviri nani. Asi iyo pfungwa yekutiza, iyo yakaenderera mberi kwemwedzi yekutanga yemisangano, inopera. Yaiva chete nokuti vose vainzwa kusava nechokwadi, chakavanzika, chakavanzika. Iye zvino vanova pedyo zvikuru zvokuti vanovhunga pamusana pokushayikwa kwepfungwa uye rusununguko rwekuita. Pakati pepamusoro inotora zvose.
Iyo yegoridhe zvinoreva
Rudo runoyera pamatanda maviri: kuda kuzvipira, kureva kuti, panguva yakakodzera yokunyengera, uye kuzvimiririra kune mumwe nomumwe. Kuwira murudo, tinoda kuva nguva dzose pedo nemunhu, kunzwa kunzwa kwakasununguka kwemaoko ake uye kufema, kutaura pamusoro pezvose uye kungoyemura. Uye panguva imwecheteyo, munhu wose anoda imwe nzvimbo yekusununguka. Mumwe haakwanisi kuvapo kunze kweumwe.
Zvhura, kugovana, kuzarura, kuzarura zvimwe, kuve pachena ... Uye chii chinotevera? Kana kureba kwakanyanya zvikuru, hazvibviri kuumba kugadzikana kwepfungwa. Kana chikamu chisipo uye avo vanobatana vanobatana muchimwe, hurumende inonyangarika. Iyi kubatana inobata nzvimbo yayo yehuhu-husina imwe nyika yemumwe munhu, iyo nzvimbo yakavanda apo waanenge achida kuedza kusvika nayo. Uye sezvo izvozvi zvikava chimwe chinhu, kubatana kwakarasika: sei kubatanidza iyo inenge iine yose? Icho chinotarisa kuti kumwe kusabatana ndicho chikonzero uye chinonyanya kukosha chekuvapo kwekukurukurirana, manzwiro, rudo uye hukama. Ichi ndicho chinonyanya kukosha icho chiri pamwoyo weukama hunofadza.
Mufaro uri
Izvo simba rehukama mune chero zvipi zvaro zvinosanganisira kubatanidzwa kwemaviri mapato. Murume nemudzimai bedzi vanogona kugadzira munda wavo wekurima-munda umo rudo, unyoro uye mufaro usingagumi zvirimwa. Nokuda kwechikonzero ichocho, munhu haagoni kutaura kuti mumwe munhu ndiye ari kukanganisa chimwe chinhu - somuenzaniso, mukurasikirwa kwechido chekare uye murazvo - vose vanobatana vanounza ivo pachavo chimwe chinhu kune hukama hunobata chigumisiro. Vakadzi vane intuitively vanozvinzwa, asi dzimwe nguva vanozvitsanangura zvisina kururama, vachiramba zvinhu zvose nekuda kwe rudo. Izvi hazvina kunaka. Kukanda masimba ose kuti akwanise kuwirirana, inoratidzika kwaari, ukama, uyo anokanganwa zvachose pamusoro pezvaanoda kuita - haazoenda kudziva zvakare ("Darling haadi kuda kushambira!") Uye anokanda manzwi ake ("Bunny yangu ine unyanzvi kusvika kumatambo!") anoramba kusangana neshamwari, uye nevamwe uye anokanganisa zvachose kukurukurirana. Zvose izvi zvinoedza kurongedzwa nevanodiwa. Chii chaashamiswa nazvo, kana zvose zvakanyatsosiyana. Chido chake chakasimba chokugadzira mumwe wako uye kukanda chero chinhu chinoderedza chidimbu kusvika kune zvishoma uye chinokanganisa chikamu chedanana. Ndeipi inofadza yekuva nemunhu wakagadzirira kuita chero chinhu, dai iwe wakagutsikana? Nzira yekukunda muvarume inomuka muna 99% yematambudziko. Vanoshuva kupikisa uye kukanganiswa. Vanoda kubvisa mukadzi uyu kubva kune mumwe munhu, uye kwete kutora ndiro imwe yesirivha.
Recipe yemhuri inofara
Uye kudanana, uye kukanganisa kunotumbuka munzvimbo isina nzvimbo. Kana iwe ukacherechedza kuti ukama hwave huchikurira, edza kudzorera iwe pachako kuzvimirira. Iwe haufaniri kuvaka hupenyu hwehafu yehafu. Yeuka kuti iwe unofarira kwaunoda kuenda uye chii chaunofanira kuita. Kutya kurasikirwa nemunhu uye kuedza kubhadhara kusava kwake kwekusununguka hakugoni kuchinja iwe - kuitira kuti iwe unogona kurasikirwa chaizvo nemunhu waunoda. Simudza akaderera, akaonda, asi rusvingo pakati pako. Kwechinguva kwechinguva. Uye iwe uchanzwisisa kuti haufaniri kuzviramba kuti uwane rudo. Iwe wakatofanirwa. Rudo pasina kurasika rusununguko runogoneka. Uyezve, ndiye iye anovimbisa hukama hunofadza uye hurefu. Edza kuchengeta nzvimbo yakasununguka pakati pako nemumwe wako - uye ushamiswe nemugumisiro! Kubva mubhuku rinonzi "Kubereka mukutapwa"