Ndivanaani vanorara mwana?

Kutaura chokwadi, dambudziko re "ndiani kurara nemwana" munguva pfupi yapfuura rine zvakawanda zvine hanya navanachiremba vevana, sezvo iye zvino zvave zvakasvibiswa kuti zvigare nevana. Izwi rechiremba rokuti "pathologically" rinoshandiswa munyaya iyi nokuti dzimwe nguva vanaamai havanzwisisi kuti sei vachizviita, vachiisa mberi maonero akadaro kuti zvakaoma zvikuru kuti chiremba anzwisise.
Iyo yakasiyana nemamiriro ezvinhu ndeyekuti hakuna wevadzidzi vekuchikoro vanoti hakuna mubereki wekubatana wevabereki nevana anodiwa nechekupedzisira, asi, vanotsigira kudiwa kwekuchengetedza nzvimbo yakasiyana yakakosha yemwana, papa ane kodzero yekuve nemubhedha wakabatanidzwa naamai vake, nezvimwewo. Asi, zvisinei, pane nhamba yakawanda yemabhuku, avo vanyori vanosimbisa kuti kubatana kwevabereki nevana kunokosha.

Semuenzaniso, nhume dzomukurumbira wevanhu anonzi James McKenna, mwana, maererano nehutano hwomuviri wake, akakodzera kurara naamai vake. Asi hazvirevi here kuverenga kuti Papa, muurongwa hwayo, anosvika kuna Amai zviri nani? Hatigoni kufungisisa kufara kwomwana kubva pamufaro wevabereki vake, hatigoni kumuita kuti afadze kukosha kwababa vake kana kunzwa kwekuparadzanisa vabereki kubva kune umwe. Funga nezvemunhu semhizha uyo akaita basa rake ndokuenda kunorara pamubhedha pedyo, zvisina kururama.

Nokudaro, mazano kuvanaamai vose vakasarudza kusarudza pamwechete nemwana ndeyekuteerera maonero epapa, mufaro unotarirwa nekubvumirana kwevabereki vose, kwete mwana chete.
Vanaamai vazhinji, vane vana vane mazamu, vanotaura kuti kurara navo kunonyanya kukosha nekuda kwekudya kweusiku. Panguva imwecheteyo, amai, vana vavo vari pakudya uye vachirara mumubhedha wakasiyana, mubvunzo unomuka: mwana wavo ane hutano hwakakwana naamai vake here? Vamiririri vebasa rekufambisa "Breastfeeding Consultant" vari kuedza kuratidza mukadzi izvo zvinodiwa kuti vadye mwana anenge achitsvaga asi, zvisingaiti, izvi zvinokurudzira chinangwa chokuita kuti amai vangu vafare, uye kuvekwedzimai kwekuiswa mumatongerwo akaoma "kunosungirwa." Tiri kuedza nenzira dzose dzingaita kuti tinyengetedze kuti kana mukadzi asingaregi usiku, anowira pasi aneta, anopa mwana kwekutanga kokutanga ane squeak uye anovata naye, chigunun'una ndiye amai vakakwana. Asiwo, kana mwana akarara muchikanda chake, amai-vanochidyisa neawa (kana, Mwari arambe, mwana haatori mazamu) uye ane nguva yokuzorora, saka amai vakadaro vakaderera, uye naizvozvo, zvinetso zvakasiyana zvinotanga kumuka pamusoro pekuti mwana wavo haaiti kuonana kwakakwana.

Vanachiremba vanokurudzira zvakasimba kudzidza kuti vangasiyanisa sei pakati pemhuka yekubatana nevanhu. Kukurukurirana kwevanhu kuchenjera nekukurukurirana. Ipa mwana ushamwari uye nyaradzo haisi kungoishandisa nguva dzose kuchipfuva, asi zvakare kutaura naye, kumudyisa kubva mubhodhoro. Hazvirevi kuti zviri nani here kana kuti zvakanyanya. Kutaura pamusoro pazvo, kuti mukadzi asingakwanisi kufudza mwana nechepa kuburikidza nemhando ipi zvayo, haaiti kwaari imbwa. Uye nokuda kwekuratidzwa kwekutarisira vanaamai, tsitsi uye shungu, ane nzira dzakasiyana-siyana dzeimwe nzira. Zvechokwadi, kune mhuri dzisinganzwisisiki nekurara pamwe nevana vavo, vana vanogona kuuya usiku pamubhedha wemubereki, uye vabereki vanovabatora vachizvikudza. Mumwe wemuenzaniso wemhuri dzakadai ndewe William William Sears. Vane vana vasere, William ndiye chiremba uye vana Marita ndivo vadzidzisi vekuyamwisa. Vose pamwechete vakanyora mabasa akawanda pamusoro pekudzidzisa nekurera vana vanofara uye panguva imwe chete vanogara vachifara-vabereki. Zvose izvi zvakanaka, kana pane mamiriro ezvinhu mitezo yese yemhuri inofara asi mhuri yemhuri yeSears inogadzirwa nevana chete. Iyi imhuri inongowanikwa nekuda kwevana, umo hunokosha hwevanhukadzi hunotarirwa chete neshoko "amai." Chii Marta Sears asina vana vasere? Rinongodzidzisa zvose zvingazviziva pachako munyika ino, kuva amai chete. Uye vazhinji vevakadzi vemazuva ano vanoona zvido zvavo zvemagariro kune vamwe.Vanyori vanonyora mabhuku anovaita kuzivikanwa munyika yose, nzira yekuvandudza chete kurera kwevana, asi kune vamwe vanhu vane vana kana vaviri, izvi zvinorumbidzwa hazvina maturo. Kana iwe ukasarudza kutsaurira upenyu hwako kuvana - ichi ndicho chakanaka chako uye mufaro, asi kwete pasi pehutano hwemudzidzi, gweta, chiremba, mudzidzisi kana mumwe munhu.

Mumwe haagoni kupesana nemafungiro evanhu vane ma psychoanalysts vanoshanda nevana vemarudzi ose ekuti kugara kwakanaka kwomwana mumubhedha umwe pamwe naamai havazove nemigumisiro. Kune zvinetso zvepfungwa zvepamusoro zvinotora matanho avo zvakanyatsobatanidzwa muvana pamwe chete nevana. Dambudziko mamiriro ezvinhu umo munhu mukuru ari kuita zvepabonde nemumwe mukadzi, uye akaroorwa neshamwari, anotanga kunyatsoziva nekuti munguva iyo amai vake vakatumira baba vake kurara pane imwe nzvimbo. Iyi nyaya inokosha zvikuru mumamiriro ezvinhu ayo mwana pachake achararama. Idzo mhuri umo vana vaviri vanogona kuyananidza mifananidzo miviri - vakadzi nokuda kwebaba va imam ivo pachavo-vanozove vanofara chaizvo. Kukura, iye (kana tikataura pamusoro pomukomana) tichakwanisa kuwana mukadzi webheet, uyo waanoita zvepabonde (uye awane mufaro) uye iye achava amai vevana vake.

Inoramba ichiwedzera kuti kuwedzera kukuru kwemapfungwa uye masayendisiti ekupikisa avo vanoita kuti mafashoni ave amai vanobatana pamwe chete nemwana ndiyo chitendero chazvino. Vanachiremba vakaumba maonero avo, tine chinhu chimwe chete: kufunga uye kuita sarudzo yakarurama.