Ichokwadi here kuti unhu hwemunhu hunoiswa mumakore ekutanga ehupenyu, uye shure kwezvo zvatove zvakaoma kuchinja chero chinhu?
Unhu hunoitwa huri kupera nemakore manomwe, mushure mokunge pane shanduko - tinokwanisa kuwedzera chimwe chinhu, chimwe chinhu chekugadzirisa. Zvinotendwa kuti makore manomwe oga munhu anoenda kuchikamu chekuberekwa kwake: panguva ino iyo kuumbwa kweropa kunoshanduka zvakakwana, chimiro chemuviri chinovandudzwa. Mumakore ari mazhinji evanomwe, mumwe nomumwe wedu ari mumatambudziko. Zvinotyisa zvemadzinza zvinowedzera kuwedzera: kune manzwiro okusakosha, kutya kwe rima, kureba, kusurukirwa, nzvimbo yakavharwa. Asi mumatambudziko kwemakore vanhu vakaberekerwa patsva, enda kune imwe nhanho mukukura kwavo. Tiri kuchinja, asi nheyo dzinoramba dzisingashanduki.
Ndezvipi zera iro kuzvidzora kwekutanga kwevanhu kunoumba?
Kubva pakuberekwa kusvika kumakore maviri, chimiro chemuviri chekugadzirwa chakaiswa. Kubva paviri kusvika kuchina yehukama hwevabereki kumwana, maonero ake pachake uye nyika inoumbwa, kukwanisa kurega kwete. Mumakore aya, vana vanowana ruzivo pamusoro pavo, izvo zvichazotenda hupenyu hwavo hwose. Pakutanga, mwana anoberekwa nehutano hwose hwehutsika, asi pasi pesimba remashoko-machechi ("musikana akachenjera", "mukomana anoteerera") anotanga kuziva vashoma chete. Chimbofungidzira mufananidzo: Amai vanotsigamira pamusoro pemwanasikana wemakore maviri, kutsvoda uye vanoti: "Iko musikana akanaka sei!" Vanasikana vakanaka, vanodziya, vanofunga kuti vanogutsikana uye vanodzivirirwa, uye munguva yemberi vachabhadhara zvakanyanya kunaka kwekunze. Kukahadzika mukukwevera kwahwo kuchava chiratidzo chekurira, kutyisidzira kuparadzwa kwenyika yaro. Zvinonyanya kubatsira vana kuti vatsigire, kwete kurumbidza. Uye zvakakosha kuti usataure, kwete kuisa mapurogiramu ne "iwe uchange uri chiremba" kana "kuroora muchinda." Mwana anofanira kuziva kuti iye akasiyana: dzimwe nguva akatsamwa, dzimwe nguva akaora mwoyo, dzimwe nguva achifunga, uye ane kodzero yekuzvisarudzira nzira yake. Zvino vana vanokura vakakwana.
Pazera repi mwana akanaka kwazvo kupa chikwata chechikoro?
Zvinokurudzirwa kuti amai vachengete nemucheche vari pakati pemakore maviri. Mumakore matatu mwana ari kutarisana nenhamo yekuparadzaniswa kwepfungwa kubva kuna amai - nguva iyi zviri nani kumirira kunze. Nguva yakakwana yekuendesa kuchikoro chekugadzirira ndeye makore mana. Kubva pamakore mana kusvika kumanomwe, kukwikwidzana kwevamwe mukurwisana kwomwana kunoumbwa, iye anonzwisisa kuti pane ME uye isu tiri, anofarira mitambo yemitambo, anogona kuchengetedza nguva refu. Asi zviri nani kuenda kuchikoro kwete mumatanhatu, asi mumakore manomwe. Iko mushure mechinomwe kuti hutano hwehutano hunoiswa. Izvo chete ipapo vana vanoziva kutangisa kuteerera mitemo, kukoshesa kunogadzirwa (zvikamu zvehuropi zvinobata munhu muduku muhomwe imwe zvinowanikwa mubasa). Panguva ino mwana anofanira kumira mumamiriro matatu emagariro evanhu - chikoro, chikamu chakabatana nekukura kwemuviri, uye kune imwe nzvimbo, paanogona kunzwa rusununguko rwakakwana.
Chii chinotarisa kuti ndiani mugari wenhaka?
Pfungwa, ne80% isu tiri vagari vomumhuri, 20% inosara ndiyo chisarudzo chedu chekusununguka. Dzimwe nguva idzi 20% dzinova dzakasarudzwa. Ukama pakati pevabereki hunogona kugadzirisa chinangwa chemucheche kune imwe nzira. Semitemo, vana vanofananidza muenzaniso wekuita kwababa naamai, kana kusarudza kupikisa. Vana vanodhakwa zvinodhaka kazhinji vanowanzova mishonga yemishonga kana vanorcologists. Mhuri chero ipi zvayo, mapurogiramu emhuri yavo anoshanda: "usanamatira musoro wako", "zvinokuvadza kuva mupfumi," "chirongwa chinorangwa." Kuzivisa aya mazano, vanhu vakuru vanoedza kutora mwana muhupenyu hwavo pachavo, mumamiriro avo ega. Asi izvi hazvisi kuuraya: zvinogona kuchinja. Hazvina kunaka kushandura mhosva dzose dzekukundikana kwangu kuvabereki vangu: Ndizvo zvakadaro nokuti ndakakurira amai vangu nababa. Isu tinodzidza pamwe chete nevabereki, uye hutano hwemhuri kunze kwekutsvaga hunotipa simba. Pasinei nemashoko ekunyora kwevabereki nemafungiro enhema, tinofanirwa kuonga kwavari nekuda kwezvinetso zvataifanira kutsungirira, kuvhuna, takasimbiswa, takasimba.
Nzira yekusimudzira sei kuzvimiririra kwemwana uye kwete kupa danho kumatanho - kurera nekukura kwemuwana munguva yemberi?
Kugutsikana hakugoni kudzidziswa, kunogona kugoverwa chete. Mufananidzo unowanzozivikanwa: mwana anofamba achipoteredza mukamuri, uye anoudzwa kuti: "usatora", "kuwira pasi", "kuisa, kana kuuputsa", kufamba kwemwana kunenge kusina kushanda, kufarira kwekutsvaga kwakarasika uye anogara pasi pamberi peTV. Vana vanogara nguva dzose pahwindo rehholo ndivo avo vasina kuchengeteka kuzviratidza ivo pachavo. Hyperopeka - servisi yebhakisi yemwana, iyo inomudzivisa kuti azviratidze munzanga. Kusvika kuchikoro "aquarium" vana vanonamatira, kuputsika. Zvakaoma zvikuru kuti vavake mhuri yavo munguva yemberi. Murume akakura asina kuparadzana kubva kuna amai vake (maitiro anoshandiswa: "kunze kwangu iwe ucharasikirwa," "zviri nani kupfuura amai vangu amai vasingazove"), hazvigoneki kuvaka ukama hwakabatana nemudzimai wake. Nokudaro, vabereki vanofanira kupa mwana kodzero yekukura, mupfungwa muporege kuti aende. Uye iwe unofanirwa kuita izvi pazera remakore manomwe.
Ndezvipi zviri nani kumwana wechipfungwa checheche: apo vabereki vanogara pamwe chete kwete nekuda kwerudo, asi nekuda kwemwana, kana kurambana?
Mwana haana kukoshesa zvibayiro zvevabereki vaigara pamwe chete nekuda kwake. Zvinogoneka kuti mushure memakore apo amai vangu vanoti: "Hungu, ini ndiri kwauri ..." - achapindura achiti: "Uye zvakanga zvisina kufanira kwandiri". Kana vabereki vasingadi mumwe nomumwe, kukakavadzana uye kusanzwisisana zvicharamba zvichibuda pakati pavo, asi kubudirira kwekugadzirisa kweumwe munhu nzvimbo inowanzodiwa yekurera inoda. Inotarisa muhupenyu hwevana uye vanababa vokurera uye vanaamai vokurera (uye havadi kutarisa mwana wechipiri baba kana amai vechipiri - ivo vacharamba vari vakasiyana uye vasina kukwana). Kakawanda, ukama nevana vekurera hune tsitsi uye hunotonhora kupfuura nebaba vavo. Baba vekurera vanogona kuva shamwari inogona kubatsira uye kunzwisisa, uye izvi zviri nani kupfuura mubereki akadhakwa. Upenyu muzvakaipa uye vana vasingadi vanogona kudzokorora mumhuri yavo pachavo.
Ndeipi makore akaipa kupfuura ose ekurambana?
Mwana pazera ripi zvaro anonzwisisika anonzwisisa chiitiko ichi. Kune vanhu vakuru iyi inetso. Nokuda kwecheche - kutyora kwekuchengetedzwa kwezvokuchengetedza. Chikonzero chekurambana ndechokuti vana vaduku vanowanzozviona ivo pachavo: "Ndakaberekwa, asi havana kunditsvaka", "Ndakadya zvakashata, uye baba vangu vakatikanda." Kana paine makore ane gumi uye 4 iwe unogona kutsanangura mamiriro acho ezvinhu: hongu, hazvina kufadza, asi mwana anogamuchira, uye kurambana mumakore ekutanga ehupenyu kunoumba chakavanzika muhupenyu, rudzi rwemhirizhonga. Zvinonyanya kusununguka kuti mwanakomana kana mwanasikana ararame chete naamai vake kana nababa vake chete, kana vabereki vose vachifara uye vakazviziva kupfuura kune avo vanonzi mhuri yakazara vachirwisana nemamiriro ezvinhu epasi rose.
Ndeapi mitemo yehutano hwekurambana kana vabereki vachifanira kuchengeta kuitira kuti mwana ararame panguva ino nekurashikirwa kwakanyanya?
Chinhu chakaipa kune vana ndechekuti vanonzwa: chimwe chinhu chiri kuitika, asi vanhu vakuru vanoita sokuti vakanaka. Zvinoratidzika kumwana kuti anorasikirwa kubata nemanzwiro ake. Nguva dzose inonyatsokwanisa kutsanangura zvose. Taurira mwana kuti akaumbwa nemasero epapapa naamai, uye muviri wake wose unorudo rwevabereki. Uye kwose kwavabereki, rudo runoramba ruri muvana. Izvo zvakaoma zvikuru kumwana apo baba namai vari muukama husina kunaka, vanotaura zvakaipa pamusoro pomumwe nemumwe, uye munhu wese anotanga kuisvitsa kune avo. Vana vari mumamiriro ezvinhu akadaro vanogara vachinzwa vane mhosva pamberi pemubereki avo vasiri kurarama. Zvakakosha kuti vakaroorana vagoita nenzira inofadza uye vanoita kuti vawane nguva dzose kumubereki ane mwana asingararami.
Ichokwadi here kuti Papa nokuda kwomusikana mufananidzo wevanhu vake vakakodzera?
Zvechokwadi, mwanasikana anotora muenzaniso wemunhu kubva pamufananidzo wababa, uye mararamiro ekuita nevanhurume vakasiyana - kubva kuna amai. Papa anopa maitiro uye kudzivirirwa kwomwana - vose vasikana nevakomana. Mukuwedzera, baba vanobatsira mwanasikana wavo kuti anzwisise ukama nevakomana vakasiyana. Saizvozvowo, amai vanogona kutsanangura kusimba kwekuita kwevakadzi kumwanakomana wavo. Kubva pedyo nehukama nekudzikama kwehukama na papa musikana mune ramangwana huchavimba nekuvapo / kusavapo kwematambudziko - kurera nekukura kwemuwana. Kana mubereki asina kumutsvoda mwanasikana wake zvakanyanya, haawanzopfeka maoko ake uye haana kumboyemura kunaka kwake - iye achava nehuwandu huzhinji hugutsikana nemuviri wake uye pachake.
Izvo zvakakosha sei kukura kwekutanga kwemwana?
Kukura mwana achiri muduku kunofanira kunge kwakanyanya kufadza kwaari. Kana uchida kuverenga, dhonza, dzidza - ita, kana usingaiti - usamanikidza. Kazhinji chinokurudzirwa kukura kwepakutanga hachisi chinhu chakanaka kune mugari wenhaka, asi kutya vanhu vakuru kuva vabereki vakaipa kana kubvisa chido chekuzvirumbidza kune hama neshamwari dzemano emwana wavo. Nzira yechipfuva yekudzidza kushingaira mumakore ekutanga ehupenyu ndechokushaya chido chokudzidza kuchikoro. Kutungamira kusvika kumakore manomwe mutambo, asi kana mwana paanenge achitamba asati apedza chikoro, akapedza nguva pamisangano uye electives, haazotora zvidzidzo. Ikoko kune imwe nhuhu. Hungu, zvechokwadi, kusvika kumakore mana uropi hunotora kusvika ku80% yemashoko acho, kubva pamakore matatu kusvika mana emwana unogona kudzidzisa mitauro mina kana mashanu, asi kana mushure mokunge ataura navo, ruzivo rwose ruchakurumidza kukanganwika. Pazera remakore manomwe, mwana achakurumidza kudzidza zvaakadzidziswa kubva kune mana kusvika kune manomwe.
Ichokwadi here kuti mwana mumwe mumhuri anowedzera udyire?
Mwana anogona kukura kuti ave egoist mumhuri huru. Imwe mugari wenhaka mumhuri yakakosha kudzidzisa kutarisira vadiwa, kukwanisa kuonana nevamwe vana. Uye zvakakosha kuti vabereki havagadziri kutarisa kwavo uye hupenyu chete pairi. Asi, vana vakakurira vari voga havana kufara. Vabereki nokukurumidza kana kuti gare gare vanorwara uye vakura, uye kuvatarisira kunowira pamapfudzi emwana mumwe. Kana paine hama kana hanzvadzi, mutoro wacho unoparidzirwa maviri, kune rubatsiro rwemumwe nemumwe. Kutsigira kwakakosha uye mupfungwa, kuziva kuti pane mumwe munhu wechizvarwa pasi pano. Pashure pezvose, vabereki pavanofa, mwana anoramba ari oga.
Sei kune vana vakawanda vasina kuchena munguva pfupi yapfuura ?
Zvikonzero zvinokonzerwa nekusaziva hazvikwanisi kunyatsojekeswa. Iye zvino izvi zvakajeka kuongororwa, izvo zvisingaiti nguva dzose. Chirwere chekushaya simba chinogona kuongororwa nevanodzidza vatatu (neurologist, chirwere chepfungwa, mupfungwa yepfungwa) uye pashure pezera remakore mana, zvakapiwa kuti mwana wacho azvibata zvakaenzana zvakaoma mumamiriro matatu evanhu (somuenzaniso, muchechi, kumba, mumuggi). Kakawanda kusagadzikana kunokanganiswa nekuratidzwa kwehutano hwecholeric. Ichokwadi chaizvo kuvabereki vevana vakadaro. Asi zvinokosha kunzwisisa kuti maitiro avo haasi unhu hunhu, asi kuratidzwa kwechiratidzo. Nhasi, kubhadhara kushaya hutsika (pamwe nemishonga yekare), kugadzirisa mishonga inoshandiswa, kushandiswa kwakanyatsonaka (ava vana vane hanya nekuwedzera kwemazinga ega uye zvokudya zvine chikafu chekudya). Kunyanya kusarura zvechokwadi kunorwara, asi kwete mutongo. Nokushivirira, kutarisira, nzira yakabatana yevabereki, vadzidzisi, vanachiremba, vana ava vanogona kuzadzika.
Ndezvipi zvakasiyana-siyana zvevana vemazuva ano?
Vana vemazuva ano havakwanise kupinda mumamiriro ekurapa kwepfungwa uye kudzidzira, zvakasikwa mumakore akapfuura. Ndicho chikonzero mukurapa kwevana uye mwana wepfungwa dzepfungwa dzemitemo, kwete yemitemo, asi yezvikamu zvekuvandudza zvino yatumirwa: kukura, kuyerwa, kutaura. Saka, kutaura kwevechidiki vemazuva ano kunotanga kusvika kumakore mana, uye izvi zvatove zvichitaridzirwa kuti ndizvo zvinowanzoitika. Vana vezana remakore rechi20 vanozivikanwa nehupenzi hwakanaka, kuzvikudza uye pfungwa yakagadzikana yekuzvidzivirira. Hondo uye kuzvipira, zvakasimwa mumakumi emakore adarika, zvatove zvisingabatsiri. Nhasi, vana vane hypersensitive: izvo zvatinonzwa zvinowanikwa nemashanu mukufunga kwavo. Chizvarwa, icho chinopindira zvakasimba kune zvose zvinoitika, zvinokura zvinorwadza kana kusagutsikana. Izvo zvinoshandiswa pakuyeuka uye coefficient yemabasa anoshingaira europi dzavo zviri nani zvakanyanya kukura kupfuura vanhu vakuru. Nhanho yehupenyu uye maitiro zvinopfurikidza nemitemo yekare. Mapikicha emazuva ano anowedzera kutengesa tempo rhythm inoita seine simba kwatiri, vanhu vakuru, asi kwete kwavari. Nhasi, vana vanenge vasingadi kuverenga uye havadi kutamba mumitambo yakawanda. Pavari, kupedza nguva yakawanda yega nguva pamberi pekombiyuta kuongororwa, uropi inogoverana nekunzwira tsitsi (kunzwira tsitsi) inononoka kusanganisira mubasa. Zvinosuruvarisa, ikozvino vana havasi kutamba nevabereki vavo. Izvozvo hazvina nguva yeizvi, uye hazvizivi kuti tingazviita sei. Asi hazvina mhosva kuti vana variko zvino varipo kubva kumarudzi akapfuura, zuva rimwe nerimwe vachiri kuda kwemaminitsi makumi matatu ekukurukurirana nevabereki vavo (vasina TV uye foni) kuti vazadze nekudziya uye kutsigira mumweya.
Vana vemazuva ano vanokura zvakanyanya kare. Kubudirira kwekutanga kwehupombwe hwehupenyu kunobata sei mwana?
Zvechokwadi, mitambo yevasikana inotanga nhasi pazera remakore mapfumbamwe (vakomana mukukurudzirana kwepabonde vanenge makore maviri mushure mevasikana). Asi kazhinji, vabereki vanofanira kuisa pfungwa dzavo pachavo: pazera rei vaiva nehanya nevanhurume vakasiyana-siyana - mumakore aya iye achamuka uye nevana. Ukama hwepabonde hwepakutanga hunove hunoita mamiriro ezvinhu anonetsa. Kuda zviitiko (kusangana, kuparadzana, anodiwa aine imwe) zvinorwadza kune munhu mukuru, uye kumwana - kaviri. Kuita zvepabonde muhucheche kunopesana nekuvandudzwa kwemamwe mapepa. Izvi zvinozivikanwa, somuenzaniso, kuti vanhu vanobva kunherera vanowanzowedzera pasi. Kuramba bonyora uye kuita zvepabonde kwekutanga kunokonzera maritourinary system uye zvinokonzera kukura kweimwe nzvimbo. Pakutanga, kufambiswa kwebasa rinosara rinomira. Izvi zvinogona kuva nharo yevabereki vemukomana avo vanoda kumuchengeta kubva pabonde. Vabereki vanofanira kunyanya kutaura nevana panyaya iyi, tsanangura kuti zvepabonde zviri nani kutsiva kwenguva yakati: gare gare, zviri nani. Taura kuti rudo rwakasimba kune mamwe ose. Asi kana mwana wacho achiri ane shamwari kana musikana, vabereki vanofanira kutaura nevose. Zvinonyanya kukosha kuti amai vemusikana vataure nemukomana - kuti mwanasikana anofanira kuonekwa, asina kugumburwa, uye akadzivirirwa. Mutoro wemurume uyu pamberi pevasikana vomusikana uyu wakareba kupfuura iye asati apfuura. Hazvikuvadzi kuti Baba vakaudza mwanasikana wavo kuti vakomana vanowanzoda vasikana. Zvakakosha kuzivisa vana kuti vanhu vakuru chete ndivo vanogona kuita izvi.
Koii-mhuka dzinobata zvipfeko zvevana muzvitoro zvinokonzera chirwere chemwana?
Hazvisiko kufunga nezvekushandura kwakaipa uye mhuka-bionics chete sechiitiko chinokuvadza. Mumwana mumwe nomumwe ikoko anogara humwe hutsika, huri kutya chinhu. Somuenzaniso, rima. Kuisa mumaoko emaishanduri ane simba kana kuti asingatyi-kungwara-munhu, mwana anoita seanenge asingachagadziriswi, anosvika kune imwe simba rekushandisa. Mushure mezvose, zvose zvandinezvo mumaoko angu zvinoita kuti zvigoneke, chikamu changu. Kuburikidza nemitambo yakadaro, vana vanogona kuratidza kuora mwoyo manzwiro. Kana mwana achida kurega kwete, asi haagoni, anosarudza chido chinoputika, asi iye pachake anoramba ari chena uye ane futi.
Ndezvipi zvinokonzera chikoro chiri mumwana?
Vana vezvikoro zvishoma havagone kuongororwa. Uye, nerufaro, muzvikoro zvakawanda izvi hazviiti. Mwana wacho anogamuchira mutezo, kwete sekusagutsikana kwomudzidzisi nebhuku rake risina tsvina, asi seanongoronga pachedu. Kuongorora ibasa rakaiswa kune mwana wechikoro. Kugadzirisa kwake: "Ini ndakashata, handidi" -kugadzirisa uku kunoumba mafungiro emafambiro e "mudzidzi akaipa", "akarasikirwa." Kazhinji, kupinda muchikoro, chikoro dvoechniki uye troechniki chinotanga kudzidza zvakanaka. Hapana kuongorora, iyi ishizha itsva apo iwe unogona kuratidzira iwe, kune chido mukudzidza. Zvakakosha kutsanangurira mwana kuti mudzidzisi ndiye munhu mumwechete wevanhu vose vanoneta, vari mumamiriro ezvinhu akaipa uye vanogona kukanganisa. Muchiitiko ichi, vana havanganzwisisi mafungiro emudzidzisi kune avo, semurairo. Mukuwedzera kune chikoro, mwana anofanira kunge ane imwe nzvimbo kwaanogona kuzviratidza. Uye kugadzikana kwepfungwa kunogadzirwa mumhuri. Kana ichidiwa pano, pasinei nemafambiro ayo uye kuongororwa, ichagara yakakwana.
Nzira yekurera sei unhu hwechokwadi?
Unhu haugoni kumutswa, hunogona kubatsirwa kuratidza. Uye mutemo wekutanga ndiko kuremekedzwa kwevabereki nokuda kweunhu hwake. Kana ndiine hukama neni pachangu, ndoga ipapo ndinokwanisa kuva nemafungiro nemumwe munhu. Kana ini ndave akajeka, ndichakwanisa kubatsira kubatsira mumwe. Vanhu chaivo vanokura mumhuri ine utano, umo vakaroorana vasingatenderi kune mumwe nemumwe mupfungwa uye mune zvemari, uko kune kunzwisisa uye rudo. Kana amai vachikura, iye ane simba rega, kana achida kuongorora nyika nemwana uye kudzidza kubva kwaari, ichi ndicho chikonzero chakakodzera chekusimbiswa kweunhu hwakasimba. Zvichiitika, vanhu vakuru vane vana vadzidze kubva, semuenzaniso, nokukurumidza, kukwanisa kubata nguva ino, kutendeseka kwekutaura kwemanzwiro nemanzwiro.